Tradeoffs… September 26, 2006

As you may have noticed, here at D2D we’ve moved away from following certain themes and topics, so that we could maintain a more conversational, casual flow of discussion here.

It was a great idea, really. Before, when we were posting based on specific themes, I’d see of all kinds of fantastic resources and then kill myself trying to think of a way to fit them into the topic of the month. Or I’d have an idea for a post that seemed especially timely or helpful, but then I’d file it away to post about later, when it fit the theme du jour. (I never did. They never did.)

Several years ago, before I’d gotten serious about my freelancing career, I was talking with somebody about whether or not I REALLY wanted to write for magazines.

"I mean, I love to write," I said. "I’d love to write for a living. But I want to write about what I WANT to write about, not what somebody ELSE tells me I have to write about. I don’t want anyone else telling me what to dooooooo." 

Somewhere along the line, though, I gave in, and now have even become so accustomed to writing for others that writing for myself no longer comes as naturally as it once did. Perhaps I simply don’t have the time, brainpower or creativity left to let a flood of ideas flow from my fingertips after filing how-to stories on contracted, assigned topics.

Once upon a time, I was a prolific blogger (long before D2D or any of my current blogs, I had a regularly-updated personal blog). My entries were fun and off-the-cuff and plentiful. And essays; I was forever starting (and sometimes even finishing) essays about a variety of topics. And I dabbled in poetry and half-written short stories and even plays. On the other hand, I had a very hard time coming up with ideas that anyone else might like to buy. I had a hard time tailoring my early articles to the markets I was writing for. I was overflowing with stuff I wanted to write. The only problem was that much of it wasn’t publishable.

There’s that tradeoff thing again. Most of us already know that the life of a working writer–especially a working writer with children–doesn’t usually mean a life of luxurious creativity, choosing only the projects one feels passionate about, and having plenty of time for everything else in our lives–being there for our children for all of their waking moments, practicing yoga for two hours a day, and perhaps a hobby, like breeding and training hairless guinea pigs for profit. We can have SOME of these things, and on a good day, we might manage to squeeze it all in, but day in and day out, something’s gotta give. And so it goes with our careers. Last year I was giving a talk to a group of college students in a writing for publication class, and I told them "When you’re first starting out, you have to make a choice: Either you can write only what you want to, when you want to, on the topics that you want to; OR, you can make a living at this." Okay, so it’s possible you could make a million dollars off your first novel, but you’d STILL have to put in a lot of time before you see a dime. There’s always a tradeoff, and I think we have to be prepared to make it when we are getting started. It helps to know, very specifically, what your career goals are. Somebody who wants to make a name for herself writing serious think-pieces for the Atlantic should probably choose a different path from someone who wants to pay the bills by writing advertorials. And if you’re moving your career along in a certain direction, the tradeoff is that you may just not have as much time or energy left for other things.

But isn’t it great? We can choose! And we can have the writing life and career that works for us right now and a year from now, whether that means we want to pen the occasional story when we can take a moment out of raising our families, or whether we’re hoping to build a career writing for magazines. If tomorrow I decided that I was tired of writing as my main source of income, I could get a different job and still write essays and stories and even magazine articles only on topics that move and excite me. I’m a writer for life, but I can choose the way writing fits into my day-to-day existence right now and change it later.

I don’t know about you, but I think that’s exciting. It means I can be many things during my lifetime. It means that the novel I have always felt is in me somewhere has time to percolate until I’m in a place in my life that I can get it down. Making a choice sometimes feels like giving something up, but I like to think that I’m just making room in my future life for whatever I can’t do now.

And look–I managed to write a whole blog post, without anyone telling me what to do. See? Turns out I’ve still got it :)

–Happy writing!

Meagan

Are You Lovin’ It? September 21, 2006

There are days when I wonder, "WHY am I doing this to myself?" The schedule juggling and the child care cancellations and the tantrums (the kids’) and the tantrums (mine) and the deadlines and the stress. And a Pithy Thought About the Writing Life came to me the other night as I talked with my husband, who is contemplating a career change but has no earthly idea what he’d like to do. He mentioned sales, saying he’d have to really believe in a product in order to sell it. And I agreed, saying I wouldn’t want to put myself through the stress of a sales career if my heart wasn’t in it.

That made me think of a writing career (which, don’t be fooled, involves sales–you’re selling your talent and ability to deliver).

I haven’t been freelancing for all that long, but ever since I got the sense that I could succeed at it, I’ve felt lighter inside. I’d switched majors three or four times in college, jumped from job to job after, and even spent a tragic amount of money on a now-dormant legal career, but never found "it." Home. When I caught on that you can make a decent living writing for my beloved magazines, I finally grasped that long-elusive vibe I’d seen in friends who felt really passionate about their livelihoods.

I don’t feel that writing is the only thing at which I could be happy (member of the idle rich, National Geographic photographer, stand-up comic, over-the-hill inde rock band leader), but it’s the best fit for me right now, and that’s really comforting. Especially during the times when a check is four weeks late or a source who insisted would call YOU instead of the other way around leaves you waiting like the cable guy or dishwasher repairman.

You really have to love writing to endure all of this tail-chasing, rejection, and deadline despair. Because when you see your byline or read that graph and think, "I wrote that?" "Yeah, I nailed that!" or cash that check, it all feels worth it somehow. To quote that kid at the end of X-Files episodes, I made this is a pretty heady feeling and a pretty great way to make a living, but you’ve gotta love writing to get there.

–Toni

Why do you write? If you couldn’t be a writer, what else would you do?

I Hab a Code September 18, 2006

The kids’ inaugural head colds have migrated to me, and I’m a joy to behold, let me tell you. While I may threaten to share "before and after" photos of my crazy-cluttered office, I promise not to send you trembling under your computer desks in fear of glimpsing my Kleenex-addled face.

In the past, getting sick has been a huge worry of mine as a freelancer. We all know that Mom isn’t allowed to get sick. Nobody will bring her chicken soup or give her the day off from housework or kid-schlepping. And for us writers, deadlines are deadlines, regardless of our symptoms. Or are they?

I freely admit that I’ve requested and received deadline extensions due to illness. To me, as with most things, it’s a balancing act. If it’s a huge-for-me market I’ve just cracked, I’ll prop my laptop over the toilet bowl if I have to in order to make that deadline. But if I have an ongoing relationship with an editor based on mutual regard and trust and a good sense of his or her needs and time constraints, I’ll ask for the occasional extension if my body and brain simply refust to cooperate. And you know what? The world hasn’t ended because I dared to extend a deadline.

I’m not advocating that you go crazy with this approach, but I think those of you reading who either work as professional writers or aspire to be one are doing so with kids underfoot in part out of a desire for flexibility–in choosing our career paths and having the great good fortune to be home with our kids. So when life forces us to slow down, know that it’s okay to take heed of those "you really could use some rest" warning signs. We may have to manage our own deadlines, but those of us who work from home also don’t have to portion out sick days through a monolithic HR department, either.

So even though a few interviews and two deadlines loom for me this week, I’m slowing down in other ways to conserve energy and precious brain power. Most housework can wait, and I’m not shy about asking my hard-working husband to chip in even though he commutes a long way and works outside the home. I’m skipping all non-vital errands and activities and resting up as much as possible, knowing that if I push too hard, I’ll just remain sick that much longer.

Consider these ideas as you tentatively enter cold and flu season, and remember to be kind to yourself and think of ways to slow down when you’re not feeling well. Your family and colleagues will understand and adapt, just as you will for them. How do you cope when illness and deadlines collide?

–Toni

Why It Works For Me September 12, 2006

I loved reading Meagan’s thoughts on what’s great about the freelancer’s life. Here are some of the things I love about working as a freelance writer:

1. I’m attending a PTO meeting–my very first–with our school’s principal tomorrow. At 9:30 in the morning. Without having to ask anyone for the time off.

2. Because I hire in-home child care assistance (and oh boy could I blog about the business benefits of doing this!), I’m always there if the kids need me. This might be a more chaotic arrangement than some writers can stand, but it’s perfect for my kids and me.

3. I can work at 5:30 a.m. and/or 10:30 p.m. if I want or have to. And help guide the 2-year-old into naptime while the 4-year-old waits for me to build a Thomas the Tank Engine railroad empire in his room once the "baby" falls asleep.

4. I’ve always loathed cubicles, and while my office is a chaotic mess of (slowly but steadily shrinking) piles, I get to feather my nest just the way I want to. The walls are painted a soft sage green and are adorned with artwork by my kids and talented friends. Plus, there’s no need to guard my lunch from pilfering in the break room (though I do have to share any and every snack I consume with the kids, whose hearing is finely attuned to the sound of mom in the kitchen).

5. My success or failure are all up to me. If I don’t work, I don’t get paid. If I don’t pitch, I don’t break into new-to-me markets.

6. I’ve learned to ask for–and accept–help. My mother-in-law is coming to stay with me over the next three days while my husband is away on business so I can conduct some telephone interviews with sources for two current assignments. Instead of gritting my teeth and "toughing it out," I call and ask for help when deadlines loom and the promise of checks to come hovers above me like a cartoon bubble.

For those of you working in the business now, share some of your thoughts in the comments section. For those of you just starting this journey, share some ideas for what you hope to gain as your writing business and career begin growing.

Next time, I’ll write more about what I’m learning as I get my office routine in shape. I’ll even share "before and after" photos. Maybe.

The Freelance Life September 11, 2006

This summer was a study in crazy-making for me. After the ASJA conference at the end of April, I came home and began pitching like crazy. But May, she is a busy month for families with kids in school, and before I knew it the month was over. Then the kids were home from school, and I just wanted to hang out with them, but work began piling in. In June, I took on a book project with a less-than-three-month deadline. Then we travelled three weekends–and many weekdays too–in a row, in the midst of which was the One-on-One conference in Chicago. When I finally got home, I was wiped out. But it was just in time to start on the book, the deadlines for which were growing ever-nearer. August included back-to-school shopping, lots of whining from the kids, and several days in which I worked from 9 AM until 11 PM, stopping only to feed the baby and yell to my husband that the kids had broken through the barricade (again).

Now I’m sitting here taking a breather. I made my book deadline, I have a couple of weeks before I have any big deadlines, and since the big boys are spending most of their day at school now I have some time to just hang out with the younger two. And though I can’t seem to make my brain function well enough to post something truly helpful or informative, I did want to take a moment to remind myself (and let readers know) why I love being a freelancer with kids, even in spite of those occasional 9 AM – 11 PM days. See, I think freelancing gets a bad rap sometimes as being "too hard", and it IS hard. But it can also be a pretty great way for a parent to make a living. Here are five reasons why:

1) For every 9 AM – 11 PM day from hell, there are weeks when I blow off early to take the kids to the park, sleep in, or go shopping. If I work fast and hard, I don’t have to put in nearly as many hours as a typical full-time office employee must.

2) Yes, paychecks are often slow and unpredictable, but it makes 3 PM–that’s when the mailman comes–a hopeful bright light of my day. My husband and I have a game where we try to be the first one to the mailbox. When the checks DO come on time or just when they’re needed, the two of us do a little dance of joy. It’s just so much more fun than a regular payday.

3) I choose my work. Sometimes I regret taking on certain assignments, or wish I hadn’t chosen what I did, but I ultimately know that whatever I’m doing, I’ve chosen to do it. That can be frustrating when I make a bad choice, but is also ultimately freeing. It makes me take on a lot of responsibility for making good choices and as a result I run my business a lot more efficiently than I ever worked for an employer.

4) If a kid is sick or needs me, I can stop working and tend to him. I can snuggle with my two-year-old while researching a story or nurse the baby while typing. I can work late at night or early in the morning to make up for time missed for a school event.

5) I choose my hours, and they’re rarely 9-5. For example, my brother is here with my nephew Jack for a visit. So even though it’s only 3:30, I’m ending my work day right now.

Happy writing!
–Meagan

Fall Cleaning September 7, 2006

In my last entry, I asked about what seeds–or flowering bulbs, if you will–we might plant that could blossom into the next year?

For me, the thing that needs planting most is better organization.

The other day, I proudly photographed my 4-year-old boy, monogrammed tote bag in hand and brand spankin’ new Stride Rites over his sandal-tanned feet, to commemorate his first day of pre-kindergarten. Boy, were we ever surprised to hear the teachers asking where Nolan was the day before–the actual first day of school.

It seems I’d written the wrong day on my calendar, a weekly book with insufficient space to hold the myriad doctor’s appointments, school events, interviews with sources for articles, and myriad other reminders. Said calendar is surrounded by a quasi-filing system of sorts, featuring current work-related projects, unpaid bills, and school-related papers. And magazines–always magazines. Still, it’s a daily fight to keep the clutter at bay, and beyond that, I’m finding that I need to have a good system in place to keep key events from falling off the grid as they increasingly do lately.

So while I’m working on digging out of my paper tunnel here, allow me to share a couple of great resources for getting–and keeping–things together both at work and at home.

The Smart Woman’s Guide to a Simple Life, crafted with care by freelance writer Gretchen Roberts, is a calming starting point for those of us seeking to avoid the chaos. And there’s no magazine clutter involved–just sign up for her e-mailing list and receive weekly doses of wisdom and great ideas for living closer to your core being right in your inbox. Gretchen is no stranger to juggling diapers and deadlines, and her style is approachable and readable, like stopping by a friend’s tastefully decorated, cozy home for a welcome visit.

And then there’s attorney/journalist Heather Greenwood Davis’ story in the Toronto Star. When I read of her original means of organizing home office clutter: "Step 1: Dump your papers in a pile in a corner until they are about to topple. Step 2: Start new pile," the familiarity with my own methodology sent my jaw hurtling toward my desk. Fortunately, the huge stack of papers (and, of course, magazines) sitting there cushioned its fall. Read about how one paper hoarder found her way to the light here. Put your coffee or tea down when reading, though; Greenwood Davis’ writing is really funny.

In our next entry, we’ll talk more about workflow, efficiency, and maybe I’ll have made some headway on the miles of piles here. I might even share some "before" photos for you to <strike>laugh at</strike> learn from.

Until then, please use that comment box and share what works for you, and what doesn’t, in your workspace and work life.

–Toni

Back to School, Back to Work September 5, 2006

Fall is in the air, and with the impending change of seasons come changes here at From Diapers to Deadlines, where we’re going to bring you a steady stream of content, perfectly seasoned with new interviews with writers who craft a living by honing their craft, sleeves rolled up and wagons hitched to their particular stars. So look for more regular posts each week from Meagan and me in the coming months, and please let us know how we’re doing, and what topics or features you’d like to see here in the future.

Living in the Midwest, the temperatures are heading south in anticipation of autumn’s showy arboreal displays. Family vacations are already relegated to a folder of digital images (carefully backed up, of course!) that you need to get around to printing one of these days. By now, most kids have started back to school, leaving many moms filled with a bittersweet combination of missing them dearly and feeling *finally* able to get stuff done.

When that "stuff" includes your work as a writer, losing the bitter and hunkering down to enjoy the sweet often comes quickly. With apologies to moms of preschoolers, why not use that extra time you might have to reassess your business and how it’s working (or not working) for you? Before we know it, autumn will become winter which will fold into a new calendar year, another time for reassessment and goal setting. What seeds can you plant now that will flower over the next year?

I look forward to reading your responses, and Meagan and I will offer up some suggestions to help fine tune your business goals and increase productivity.

–Toni