In the comments, “WriterMeeg” asks:
“Do those who take on more than minimal freelance writing have childcare help? I’m stuck at the point of deciding whether to get help to write more, but be forced to make enough money to pay for that help, or just be OK with occasional writing gigs and full-time mothering.”
Good question, and one I’ve grappled with myself! The short answer is “it all depends.” (I know, I hate that kind of answer, too.) I managed to successfully build a full-time freelancing career without ever using full-time childcare, but a) it took many more late nights of working than I like to admit, especially in the beginning, b) my husband was home for the whole of my busiest year, after the birth of our fourth child, and c) who knows? I may have just gotten lucky.
From my experience talking to a lot of writer-mothers, it seems most of us cobble together some kind of child care. It’s not always full-time childcare, because for a lot of us the reason we aren’t working in an office is because we’d rather not use full-time childcare. So that leaves us with a dilemma: we want to earn an income so we can mostly be at home, but if we don’t get some child care here and there, we won’t be able to make money, meaning we won’t be able to be at home….rinse, repeat.
But there are a lot of creative ways to patch together child care so that it works for your family. And your needs, and your kids’ needs, will fluctuate. Right now, I have no regular child care. My husband just started a new job, in another state no less, after being home with the kids for over a year–it’s been quite an adjustment! But since I’m in a lull between finishing my first draft of a book and waiting for the revisions to come back, all I’m regularly doing is writing my weekly column, and working on no more than one magazine feature at a time right now–plus stuff like updating websites, blogging, etc. That means that I can patch together time to work during naps, on the weekends when my husband is home, and by using occasional sitters. I do interviews with expert sources while I have the sitters, and I write while while the baby naps and everybody else is at school. Right now my days have a pretty good “flow”–I’m only working on a few projects at a time, my kids take regular naps and the older ones are in school–so I can really take advantage of the time I’ve got.
But it can be very difficult to do interviews, meet tight deadlines and just carve out the time and space to concentrate without some kind of outside care–especially when you’re just getting started. For a lot of women, regular child care is a necessity for a successful career and their own sanity! But when you’re just getting started, it can be hard to justify that cost, but I really think that is when you need it the most! Like Meeg mentioned, there is a catch-22: how can I justify the cost of child care if I’m not making any money yet? But I’ll ask her to reframe that question: how can I expect to make money if I don’t invest in my business? Freelancing is a business, and that’s the most important thing to remember as you’re considering the child-care dilemma. If your intent is to earn an income with your writing, you have to plan accordingly. And if your husband gripes about paying for childcare so you can write, ask him if he’d rather take the kids to work with him. That might put it into perspective.
Again,I don’t necessarily think all writer moms need full-time childcare, or even regular part-time childcare. But you do need time. Whether you get that time by using daycare or a sitter, or swapping babysitting with your sister or friend, or heading to the coffee shop in the evenings when your spouse gets home, or getting up early, or staying up late, or forfeiting your free time on the weekends, something has to give to make room for writing. Some writers decide that it’s worth it to them to pay for child care so that when they are home with their kids, they can concentrate on just being a mom. Some would rather be physically near their kids all the time, even if it means they’re distracted a large chunk of that time. Some choose different kinds of child-care for different phases of their careers or at different times in their kids’ lives.
If you have limited funds for child care, use what time alone you get wisely. No screwing around. No checking message boards or e-mailing friends. When your kids aren’t with a sitter, find ways to grab a few minutes here and there to work. Having a laptop is a lifesaver: you can put your kids in the tub (this distracts my little ones for up to an hour) and sit on the toilet to work, or work while snuggling with them in front of the TV, or let them run around the backyard while you work with one eye on them. You’ll have to get good at multi-tasking with your brain fully focused on your work…but it will come with time. (Hey, you’re a mom, multi-tasking is probably already a big part of your life!)
If you’re doing the kind of writing where you’ll need to talk to sources, child care becomes more important–especially if you’re easily distracted or your kids are at an age where they’re loud, clingy, or can’t be distracted by the TV for a few minutes. Even when you have child-care, though, things can fall through, so it’s wise to be prepared and ready to think on your feet. I’ve done interviews sitting in my minivan while the kids napped in their carseats. I’ve locked myself in the bathroom to call a source when I didn’t have enough warning to arrange childcare. I’ve pulled the occasional very-late-nighter making a deadline. And I also think, depending on the kind of work you’re trying to do, that there is more room for acknowledging your role as a mother than you might think. I used to be very nervous about calling anyone–editors, sources, even other mother sources!–when my kids were around, even when they were quiet. I thought that it would look unprofessional if anyone knew I had children in the house while I write. But you know, I’ve gotten plenty of calls from experts who have to interrupt the call to talk to their own kids, and editors who call with the sound of co-workers in the background. It might look “unprofessional” to some, but I nowadays I am much more likely to call an editor or a source with the sound of kid noise in the background. I don’t make a habit of it–mostly because it’s a harder way for me to work–but I refuse to apologize for being a mother. Hey, this is my life, this is my family, this is how I work, and I do darn good work in spite–or maybe because?–of having kids.
If you’re determined to create a freelancing career while using minimal child care–or have to for financial reasons–I firmly believe you can, but you’ll have to make sure your expectations are realistic: of yourself, your kids, and your career goals. (for a great perspective on defining “success” check out our interview with freelancer and author Diana Burrell) Freelancing is fluid, and you’ll have the freedom to make mistakes, adjust your approach, and figure it out as you go. Don’t let worries about child care keep you from jumping in with both feet–just make sure that if your efforts suddenly pay off with five major assignments all due the same week, you have somewhere to turn for help.
Good luck and happy writing!
–Meagan
Readers: What kind of child-care arrangements do you currently use? How has it changed over the course of your career, and how do you expect–or hope–it will evolve in the future?
